In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
