so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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