Say something about gay babies.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize