First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I forget how to act sober
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