I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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