**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
