How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
