Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
