so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize