i think i have herpe
just one?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
