we have pet lesbian snakes
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
