Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
