make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
