U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
