Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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