The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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