C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
