NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize