You really coming over, don't trick.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
