You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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