Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize