I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
