I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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