I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
