Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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