We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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