If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
