so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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