Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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