No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
