I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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