The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
