I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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