Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
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I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Everclear isn't food dammit
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize