Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So squirting runs in the family.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
