I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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