After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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