i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
