If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
