is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
