a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Everyone says I win the strip club
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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