Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
