i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
