he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
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didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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