oh god the rape fog is back!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
