dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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