So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
