I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
ttyl tear gas
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
