i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
