girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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