When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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