im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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