I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He better not be in your backpack
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
