omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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