so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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