There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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