i permit you to call me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
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Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
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I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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